Shifty in Wonderland
by Blue Phoenix135790
Summary: Yep, another cracktastic crossover by me! :D Warning: Crossdressing, swearing, and possible Flippy in later chapters.


**A/N:** Well, it was bound to happen. I've not done anything because I've been obsessed with Happy Tree Friends, and now, I've decided to write a fanfiction for them. But not just ANY fanfiction, oh no, I'm combining it with my favorite book of all time, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"!**-Like anyone cares about the reason you wrote this. They just want your Pokemon/Naruto crossover done.**-Shut up, Absol. Beware: in this fanfiction, the characters are humanized.

Nope. No disclaimer this time. XD ENJOY, MY BITCHES!

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><p>Shifty and Lifty <em><span>(Both green hair, green eyes, dark green burglar masks, Shifty has a fedora)<span>_ managed to run away from the scene of the crime with Lumpy _(Blue hair, brown eyes, small antler earrings)_, the only police officer in town, looking on stupidly. The duo had just managed to rob one of Pop's _(Cream hair, black eyes)_ many stores, and were currently dividing in their heads the amount of money they had looted. Sure, Toothy _(Lavender hair, slightly darker eyes, buck teeth)_ was impaled with a French fry (Don't ask), but other than that, no casualties and money for all that had assisted in the heist.

At some point, however, Shifty noticed Cuddles _(Yellow hair, black eyes)_ running along them. And then he noticed that his clothing was... Different today. Sure, the boy had on his normal "bunny-ear" headphones, but his clothing was different: Instead of his natural "skater boy" clothes that screamed his love for the extreme, he had on instead a waistcoat from England's Victorian era, a suit from the same timeframe, and very fancy black dress shoes. This would've been odd enough had Cuddles not taken out an actual golden pocket-watch from his waistcoat pocket, screamed "DEAR GOD, I'M LATE!" and ran off away from the thief. Wanting that gold watch now, Shifty immediately broke away from his brother (To which Lifty protested loudly to) and ran after Cuddles.

That was when he tripped over a rock.

And then he fell into a hole.

Granted, it was more of a chasm, but he still fell into it.

And so, Shifty fell into the hole.

And fell.

And fell.

AND FELL.

"...This is either a really deep hole, or I'm falling really slowly," Mused Shifty out loud. Of course, he couldn't tell if this was true, so he felt out blindly and found a light switch, of all things. Flipping it immediately, he found that he was right about falling slowly.

The walls of the hole were well furnished, after all.

As he fell further into the hole, he saw furnishings from the Victorian era slowly moving into furnishings of the present age. Finding a television, he switched it on to find that there was nothing on.

Suddenly, he landed in a pile of sticks and leaves.

And the fall was over.

"Ow… What the hell was that?" Whined Shifty to no one in particular. "Where the hell am I, and... WHAT THE FUCK AM I WEARING?"

Indeed, Shifty was wearing, instead of his usual clothes, a light blue maid's dress, complete with white frills, bows, and apron. He also noticed unconsciously that he was in a very long hallway, but that could wait. He was in a dress, for God's sake!

"...This is fucked up in so many ways, I'm not even going to start," Muttered Shifty before trying to open one of the doors lining the hallway.

The keyword is "trying". The door turned out to be painted onto the wall.

"What the hell?" He said before trying all of the other doors. Most of them were also painted on, and the rest were locked. Giving up, he leaned against a wall and noticed a tiny door, no bigger than a mouse hole, on the floor. Trying that one, he discovered it was open and saw a very beautiful garden behind it. Of course, the door slammed shut on its own and Shifty heard an audible _click _that he knew was the sound of a door being locked.

Eye twitching in annoyance, he looked around and saw a glass table that certainly wasn't there before. And on it was nothing more than a tiny copper key. Picking it up, he realized that it fit the small door perfectly. A life of crime gives you eventual knowledge of what door which key goes to.

Of course, then he realized something: He would still be too big for the door. Looking at the table again, he saw a bottle of dark purple liquid with a tag saying "Drink Me" in curly letters.

"...Okay, where did that come from?" He wondered before taking a sip of it. Immediately, he found the taste to be like cherries, roast beef, caramel, pudding, and tomato soup all at the same time.

Then he noticed that he was getting smaller.

On one hand, he was about the size of a rat now.

On the other hand, he was now just big enough for the door.

And on some freakish, third hand, he realized that there now was no way to grow taller and that the key was now on the top of the table again.

Nearly giving up, he fell to the floor and found a box. Opening it, he found, instead of jewelry, as he expected, cookies with the words "Eat Me" written on the pastry with frosting.

Once again, he had two options:

1) Eat the cookie and either grow big enough to get the key, or get short enough to crawl under the door.

Or 2) Stay the same size and die on a mouse trap.

Obviously, he chose the first option, and, almost immediately, grew to a gigantic size much faster than he shrank.

This (Along with the fact he hit his head on the stone roof... Ouch...) was enough for him to cry tears of anger (And pain) onto the floor, where they pooled together. More on that later.

Anyways, Shifty was recovering from his blow to the head when he heard running. Turning towards the sound, he saw Cuddles again, but this time, dressed up like a playing card and carrying a paper fan and a pair of kid gloves. He was muttering to himself this time, but when he saw Shifty, he screamed "OH DEAR LORD!" and ran the other direction, dropping the fan and the gloves in the process at the feet of Shifty.

Shifty decided to pick up the fan and fan himself, for he felt quite hot. After a while of this, he noticed that he had managed to put on the pair of gloves unconsciously. Wondering how the hell he did this, he noticed that he was shrinking fast, the cause being the fan. So, he threw the fan away before he shrank so small that he would get squished by some random passerby, most likely Lumpy.

Realizing he was small enough to get into the door, he turned to it to realize that he left the key on the table again.

"I FUCKING GIVE UP!" Shouted Shifty before falling into a large body of salt water.

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><p><strong>AN:** Alright, I know what you're thinking:

"PHOENIX, WTF IS THIS SHIT? MAKE MOAR POKENARU CHAPTERS NNNAAAAAAOOOOOOO!"

WELL I'M TRYING! WRITER'S BLOCK IS A BITCH, DAMMIT!

...Anyways...

I'm not sure what possessed me to write this. I think it's my fault for watching so much Happy Tree Friends. It's like 1000 Ways to Die, but for children! :D

And yes, I support Crossdresser!Shifty. Now, who do you think is the rest of the Alice cast?

...This is following the book, not the movie.

REVIEW, DAMMIT!


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